This is a good video to end the day with. The specialists and team members get together to talk about the cancerous tumors before them…but there is NO TIME to talk to the patient about what is sacred in their lives! In my journey since the fall 2016 diagnosis, I find myself in bed with my IPad listening again to this doctor’s views on dealing with chronic patients who cannot be cured from what they have…but they can be provided COMFORT, LOVE, and maybe some time to say goodbye.

The bed I am in now is not a hospice bed. It is an old hospital bed in an Adult Foster Home. I was supposed to have died within six months of diagnosis. After hearing the word cancer, I refused further medical treatment. My body weakened, and I moved into a hospice home to prepare for death. That was in the early part of 2017.

Now it is in the third quarter of 2018. Since I didn’t die during the time Medicare paid for my hospice care, I was “kicked over the fence” and told I could go back to hospice if/when my cancer became active again. At least I wasn’t just dumped out on the street for my failure to die.  I was quiet when I left the hospice so as not to disturb the other residents.  No graduation party or bon voyage for me.  At least I was able to lose some weight in hospice because at times I didn’t want to eat.

(Humor, even the dark stuff, is something that helps me write about living between two worlds. It keeps me from going around like a whipped dog and making other people miserable. Foreign language study, reading, and this blog keep me busy, day by day. This life will end when it does. And my next life on earth will start when it starts.)

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